Gareth Bale's sale to Manchester United could fund Madrid's Chelsea, Liverpool raid

This might be the best rumor we've ever heard ahead of a transfer window. According to the Daily Star, Real Madrid are considering selling Gareth Bale to Manchester United so they can buy Eden Hazard from Chelsea and Raheem Sterling from Liverpool.
Yeah. Alright.

Why it doesn't makes sense

1. He's one of Chelsea's best players, a huge part of what makes them effective.It doesn't. It's stupid. Gareth Bale became a cult hero for Real Madrid last season with his performance against Barcelona in the Copa del Rey Final, and the rest of his season (winning La Decima, remember?) was pretty good, too. Why would Chelsea sell Eden Hazard? They wouldn't. Here are four reasons why:
2. Madrid are a Champions League Rival.
3. Hazard is apparently on the verge of signing a new contract with the Blues.
4. Chelsea are rich.
Raheem Sterling making a move is the only part of this rumor that sounds reasonable, though that likely won't happen until the summer, assuming Liverpool continues in the downward spiral they appear to be stuck in.

Why it really, really doesn't make sense

ALL THREE PLAYERS WOULD BE CUP TIED FOR THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE. Real Madrid would be unable to field Sterling or Hazard in that competition. Yes, they could play James Rodriguez, Jesé, or Isco in an attacking midfield role but why would you cripple your roster for the Champions League like that? They certainly don't need the help to win La Liga at this point, either.
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